Everyone says “Time passes by to quickly”, but to me it can’t move fast enough. I’m in my senior year of high school and I’m 17 years old.                                                                                                                                                                           My mom and I have a toxic and unstable relationship. I was born as a forced mistake, and everyday since then my mom has reminded me constantly. No matter what i do she is unhappy. I could clean the whole house on my own, then when she gets home, first thing she does is complain and nit pick everything. I can have straight A’s but she says that’s expected of me. I’ve said I’m depressed and in pain… but she tells me that she’s been through worse. I could do nothing… but then she would call me “useless”. I babysit my little brother all the time and if he breaks something, i get the blame because I’m “suppose to be watching him”. Yet when i ask him to help clean his messes or tell him to do something, she tells me not to talk to him cause “he’s not your responsibility”.                                      I can never win with her.                                                                                                                                                                    I recently applied for a job because I felt so powerless and dependent on her. I hate that if i need something, i have to ask her for permission to get it. I can’t drive because she won’t pay for Driver’s Ed, and i can’t use her car because i need a license, and if i get a license then i need insurance, which she would have to pay for, which she won’t. I feel helpless and strangled by her controlling hands. I’m not even allowed to have fun after school with friends without her permission. So i wanted to get a job that way i can start paying for things myself, but we just got into an argument and she says that she’s gonna tell the boss of the job i interviewed for to “not hire” me. She’s petty and sabotaging towards me.                                                                                                                                                                       I don’t even have the energy to be angry anymore. I’m….just tired. I’m tired of waiting for this school year to end. I can’t really envision my future anymore. I kind of just want to end everything. I can’t wait anymore… i can’t wait 8 more months to be free. I want to be free… now. Time… just isn’t… moving fast enough…