I'm the only recovering addict in my family, the rest are active in their addiction. All I'm focused on is me & my recovery, bottomline. I've disassociated w all my so called friends. I kept no one in my life who uses w/ the exception of my mother & sister. This is solely due to the reason that I don't have a car n I need their help getting to the methadone clinic 6 days a week. I've been dealing with this n having to put up wit their crazy ass nonsense for 6 months now, as my recovery is on the line. I kno the disease, I kno that developmentally, they're teenagers n lack common sense. They also have untreated mental illnesses, are master manipulators, completely self centered & pathological liars. Obviously theres no loyalty n certainly never a unity with the 3 of us, cuz of their issues. I have n tried to help them both in every way, shape n form. I'm past the point of being beyond ready to wipe my hands clean of them, but I'm stuck between a junkie & a junkie. Last week they got into a screaming match n to spite sister, mother gave excuses daily, leaving sister no choice in being my means of getting to the clinic all but one day. Last night sister broke out the drama w all her theatrics, making her ten year old daughter to do the dirty work. Sister is queen of making a mountain out off a molehill. The situation was soo miniscule & uncalled for (a single mop pad) that it's disgustingly pathetic. They both constantly forget that I'm no longer high n constantly have a clear head & solid memory. When either break out the theatrics, I won't indulge them n when they don't get what they irrationally demand, the spite & vindictiveness surfaces immediately. Just when it seemed they were calming down from their last screaming match, I had my schedule back as far as my rides. Sister made her next spiteful move, screwing me for a ride this morn, with a triple lie. Which we easily caught her in. Not only am I sick n tired of dealing with the bs n childish games or the shit talking behind my back when they are buddy buddy. I don't need my recovery affected by”family” that supposedly “supports” me. I don't want addicts in my life. I don't want the anxiety that comes when I'm stressing over transportation to get my medication. I'm sick of being pulled into drama. They're both well aware that I can be too fragile to even deal wit any of that shit. I don't kno how much longer I can continue to be the bigger person, to keep my mouth shut n not let everything I've been bottling up, explode. My counselors & therapist all remind me to do what I can to keep my distance to keep my rides. What do I do when they're delusional n will send unsolicited texts? I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place, tween a spiteful junkie & a spiteful junkie…sigh…
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Not proud of myself
Aswa, , Addiction, Addiction, Sex Therapy, 1
So I went on a holiday to another city with a friend of mine. An older friend who took...
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INSANITY…….
detroitmike, , Addiction, Sex Therapy, 2
THE N A BASIC TEXT DEFINES INSANITY AS "DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS"...
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First Few Days
Knwagner35, , Addiction, Anxiety, Addiction, Anxiety, Therapist, Therapy, 1
Today is the first time I am writing in a blog. The last 72 hrs of my life have...
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marienda408, , Addiction, 0
My mind is twirling, The gears turning,Generating thoughts Trying to rebuild,To finally be strong,And to be something important,And worth...
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mmare2010, , Addiction, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Herbal Remedies, Hypnotherapy, Self Help, Social Anxiety, Spirituality, Weight Loss, 0
It's become clear to me now that I need to make treating depression a top priority. It's hard to...
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12 NA gifts of Recovery
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Spirituality, 0
On the first day in the rooms my Higher Power gave to meA cup of coffee On the second...
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Revolving door of Recovery
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Addiction, Spirituality, 1
i have lived in Az for the past 7 years. in this town of around 35,000 i have seen...
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Fighting the program
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Religion, 0
Okay this particular blog may seem harsh but i am so tired of reading about all this boo-hoo poor...
I can imagine how hard it is to be the only recovering addict. Sending positve thoughts to you. What are you recovering from?
20yrs of partying with almost anything. Sent info to u ur inbox.