I’ve been doing poorly for a while now, particularly the
last 6 months. I’ve changed positions inside the same company and it hasn’t
been going well. In my old position I was well regarded and considered to be
doing work well beyond what my position actually was. I was not doing the type
of work I wanted to be doing though. I’m a trained experienced engineer and
that was work I wanted to be doing. My good work record opened a door to
finally get back to my chosen profession and I took it. It has been a nightmare.
The folks I work with have been disrespectful and often bullying and
belittling. I am not one to be bullied or taken advantage of so it has turned
into a hostile workplace. I wake up angry and I go to bed angry. In short, I’m
miserable. 

I’m on vacation this week because I just couldn’t
take it any longer and I needed time to figure stuff out.  One of the things I’ve done was to have
lunch with an old friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a long while. I can’t relay
what a lifesaver it was. When the topic came to why I contacted her now I had a
very hard time getting it out.  After a
couple of tries and some tears I just told her that things were bad and I
needed to see a friendly face. We talked for quite a while and reaffirmed what I
needed to hear – I WASN’T BROKEN. Sometimes there’s just no way to make some
things work. She herself had gone through the same thing – anger, frustration
and self doubt and the cure was just to move as far from it as possible.  I’ve started to do that and with any luck
I’ll be working at something new soon.

 Lesson: Believe in yourself and don’t
lose contact with the ones you love and trust. You really do need to see that
smiling face from time to time.