Well I should have known I'd end up back here sooner or later. My last blog post was about essentially flunking out of school. I believe my lowest points have been recorded on this website, and some of my hightest points also. Unfortunately for me I now live with this bittersweetnes of what this website gave to me: friends I was once so close to, looked forward to speaking to, whom I was loving towards. All that now distant memories. Even the memory of grandiose fictions of romance. Silly, but true. I don't think people realize how much a space like this can give to a person, or how much it can taketh away. All those nights of wanting to talk to those people, hear that voice, see that face. Now just a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Time, my friends, has been good to me. I met a very good doctor who saw my struggles and realized I needed more help than I could give myself. In late 2013, around August/September, I began treatment for Bipolar disorder. I have always had my highs and lows, but no doctor saw it necessary to treat as they felt the OCD was more important. Problem was, I struggled immensely with the depression this gave me. Long nights of loneliness and sadness, dependence. This would push the OCD. I would also lose weight like crazy, 20 pounds very quickly, then gain it just as fast. Being treated for this has made my life…like new. Although I still struggle, it means I have the ability to be stable, to see things with a level head. OCD is always there, but at least now I now have my skills and can fight it without the constant battle of whether or not tomorrow will be a good day or the day that my mind pushes against me.

I have also lost about 70-75pounds from my highest weight ever. I have never been at a healthy weiht before in my life and when I finally hit a "healthy" weight I couldn't believe it. It felt so good to fit in smaller clothes. Now being incredibly small (I am 5'5" 120 pounds), I feel sort of the opposte of where I used to be. It's kind of silly really. I feel at one with myself. The silly, goofy guy I am, finally healthy and in his rightful body.

I was in a relationship for awhile. It ended because I felt we were a bit different for each other. She was a very nice girl, though. We still talk. She is taller than me and very nice, artistic. I met her online. I've found since I've gotten healthier and more outgoing girls find me more attractive. Not incredibly so (I'm no tall-dark-handsome), but it's happening. I find that very silly. Different for me. I'm not always sure how to take it. It's not like girls have never liked me, but I suppose I find it foreign at times. I won't complain about it.

Finally, I'm in school for music education. I'm going to be a music teacher! I'm doing very well, with a very good GPA. I've been a musician since a very young age and have great confidence in my decision. I can only hope things keep going strongly. There are always times of not-so-greatness, but I have more experience with that than a great many people out there. I'll get through, right?

Well, I suppose I should wrap this up. This is the most concise way to speak of my life over the past year or so. It hs been interesting. Fun. Different. I even wear jeans now! Good luck finding my size, though! Hopefully with time companies will realize 29×29 (sigh, 29×30 is fine) is a viable size! Anyways, if anyone is still around, I'd love to hear from you. It feels funny being here. Sort of hurts in a good way. I guess things change but at the same time they sort of stay the same. Funny, huh?