Fault!
We, as the emotionally challenged,always seem to find fault in everything. And you can tell me to speak for myself and not you but, you need to stop and think….
It's my fault I'm bad.
It's your fault i'm broken.
It's his fault that I feel this way.
It's your fault i'm scared of men.
It's his fault I can't trust.
It's my fault my brain won't stop thinking.
It's my fault I make myself sick.
It's my kids fault I can't think straight.
It's my fault I can't hold a job.
It's their fault i can't function
It's their fault I'm screwed up~!
I think we have accomplished something in our lives….We've figured out how to place blame on everyting in our lives. It's consumed us!! EVERYDAY! We beat ourselves up worse then our abusers have!
You don't usually hear people say, "I plan on letting fault consume my life and ruin it". But yah know what? We allow it to happen. We are at fault for it.
Example:
I was molested by a stranger as a child several times. I learned how to be scared, withdraw and be an introvert, become an alcoholic to cover the pain, push people away, place fault on my parents for not being there to protect me, become over protective to a fault with my children so they couldn't breath and live a healthy childhood, become angry and lash out at loved ones, live my life everyday reliving as a scared child, placing blame on myself for being a stupid little kid and letting it happen……….
THERE IS ONE TRUE FAULT WHEN IT COMES TO ABUSE…..it is NOT your fault! That person CHOSE to do that to you!!! YOU did NOT ask for it to happen.
I know I don't want to waste any more of my time, energy, brain space, love, compassion, feelings, relationships, time…..Time….TIME…..on being a blamer! Where has it gotten me in life? NOWHERE!
I want a life that I can be proud of! I want a fun life! I want to live and experience so much!!! I want to be proud of me! I want others to look at me and say WOW! She is somebody!, I want to be like her, I wish I had as much confidence, I wish I thought so highly of myself,
I can't do that being a blamer…..there would always be a reason or fault, for me to NOT become what I want to be.
LOOK TO THE FUTURE, LIVE IN THE PRESENT, FORGET THE BLAME!
This is to inspire ME, if no one else, and to not forget what I want to do, where i want to go, and who i want to be.
