I had been doing really well lately and i still am doing well compared to earlier this year but yesterday my brother was running late so he phoned and asked me to pick up my nephew from nursery so i agreed i couldn't just leave him there i considered phoning my mum to go but i knew she was busy she does voluntary work so i convinced myself everything would be fine. i got to the nursery ok feeling ok but in saying that the nuresery is just opposit the house so that part was a breeze but standing in the nursery in the coatroom waiting on Jay the room is very crowded people kids in buggies, prams i could feel myself get really sweaty hot heart racing please just hurry up before i loose it then the kids start to come out of one classroom yes here he comes we can get going so i approach the nursery teacher and say i am here to collect Jay sorry he not in this class it's the other class OMG now the cloakroom has doubled in numbers and the other class is not out yet everyone seems to be taking there time why aren't they leaving it time to go i start to feel worse anyway people finally start leaving then the other class comes out i see Jay thank god i get him and leave very quickly. For the rest of the day i feel terrible and have a set back i cut myself i am sooooo angry with myself i haven't selfharmed in ages i have totally failed myself but think to myself well tomorrow will be another day things will be better but today no feeling down and sorry for myself need to give myself a shake and get back on track it's horrible that just 1 little thing can set you back but i am not going to let it get bad again have to fight.

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