i managed, earlier this week, to get in contact with one of the support groups my counselor’d suggested. i have to say it’s not what i expected, really, but i hope it’s a step in the right direction. This particular group is for individuals who have family members who are addicts or who’ve lost family members to addiction. i know i have some rethinking to do, regarding my own stance on how i feel about the subject. It’s still hard for me to mentally process, since i’ve never–personally–been addicted. Definitely going to be a learning experience, as long as i stay with it. *sigh Of course, Tuesday evening was just a hint of this, and i was a bit emotional–more so than i ever feel comfortable being in any sort of public setting. i have to just learn to accept the fact that i can’t always control my tears/emotions. There is such a load of feelings i’ve accumulated over time, i just have to figure out where to start. –Since this is my case, i know it helps that my counselor makes suggestions and we set goals to work on, every time we meet. i know it’s still a series of baby steps, but at least i’m moving forward and not staying stagnant or floating back, yet again.
However, i can’t help but feel a huge load of stress and worry, since the lease runs out in mid-June. i’ve been trying to look into possibilities in nearby areas, but for the most part, they tend to make you pay for information, even when you’re on a limited income. This is to simply find what might be available–not even getting on any sort of wait list. So, of course, it’s frustrating and nerve-racking. *sigh Gotta keep trying, though, right? Well, my brain’s exhausted–if that makes sense. Feels like so many things in there are jumbled together and making me constantly feel a ‘need’–more like sudden urge–to freak out and get upset, constantly. My body needs a break–i have got to find ways to help myself unwind and maintain some control so as to keep my actions under control. Nothing has really panned out like i planned? expected? hoped? But, then again, nothing in my entire life has, so why should now and the future be any different? –That’s just silly. i know.
My fellow tribe members, please try to take care’a yourselves, as best you can. You are all worthy of some peace and happiness in your own lives! ****HUGS****