Dear Love,

Well, here we are again…

…fighting…

…just thought how funny it is that in all our three years together, i think we spent 2 years of it fighting…just imagine, we've never been able to get through a week without having to argue and fight over something…

last sunday evening we fought about how i failed to get that fastfood we ordered delivered…

monday morning you were mad at me still about that…

tuesday evening your mad at me because a friend in facebook posted our group pictures from three years ago..when i was out with them while your at home alone…

Love, we fought about that three years ago…are we going to argue about that again now? and yes we are…it's now wednesday morning and we're still not talking….

lately, i noticed that most of the time, when i arrive from work, when i come to you for a kiss, you are…angry… i ask you why, you tell me it's nothing…

i get stressed thinking why, then you get mad because i'm stressed and not smiling…

i wish you could smile everytime you see me come in to the door at night… i just wish it so much that i think it won't matter at all if its geniune or not… i just want to see you smile…at least that way i know you're still happy being with me…are you?

to be honest, i'm not sure if i am…

i'm sorry, but all these fighting seems to have taken its toll on me…work and everything else…

see, i have a 3000 word article due today, and instead of working on it i spent the last two and a half hours staring into a blank word document thinking about our fight… and now i'm writing this letter instead of that article…

i come home at night, you don't even kiss me back when i say "im home…"

you keep bringing up past fights and try to revive them instead of forgetting about it…

it takes at least three days before you accept my apologies…

im stressed at work, and when i come home, there's more stress…

i'm sorry if all these things come out in this letter, it's just that i don't have anyone to talk to right now…you know that the last time i talked and saw my friends was about a year ago…i'm not really sure if i still have any…

…i'm not so sure if i still have you either…

i'm not even sure if i still have me…

lately, i've been feeling that i've completely lost who i am, or at least who i was…i'm thinking now about the times you told me to change my outfit, how i ddon;t eat vegetables (which i do now), how i can't grow my hair long, ca'nt grow beard…

i'm a supervisor but i can't talk to anyone at work because you feel jealous…

can't be home five minutes later than my log out time, or else you ask me who i have been talking to that's why i'm late…

there's just so many things that i used to do that i can't do now…

i feel like i have to completely give up who i am, all i like, in order for you to love me…

really, does anybody love anyone for who they are anymore?

…or do people love us for what they can make us become?

i love you, but today… i hope you understand…

Always,

Me

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