So This was a high anxiety week for me. I started a new job , had to do things at work that caused my ocd and anxiety levels to go through the roof. But I stayed strong and made it through the week.
I was fine friday and most of yesterday then last night I decided to watch a program called the norstradomas effect ( excuse my spelling) Which was pretty much about the predictions made by people about the end of the world. I'm not oging to get into it because I dont want people to have anxiety reading my blog if that is something they obsess about. BUT it's something that causes me HUGE anxiety and can cause my ocd to flare up big time. I havnt been able to watch movies about the end of the world or shows, read books, talk about it, anything without anxiety. Lately I've been trying to get myself to watch these programs, I read the book of revelations in the bible and When I watch them now I dont so much have anxiety about the end of the world or thoughts about the end of the world but while watching them I have thoughts of other things that feed my ocd or I have anxiety about things from the past . But not about what I'm watching Is that strange ? Why is that ? has anyone else felt like that before ?
I also find that like I can randomly wake up in the middle of the night and my mind is racing with things that worry me it can be stupid things like how I cant sleep unless the bathroom door is closed and even tho I know I close it every time I come out I cant go back to sleep unless I check it . Then I worry about other things like did I turn the oven off after supper , did I lock the door, do the cats have enough water, did I feed the fish. things that either I have done already, I know are done or that wont make a huge difference if I leave them for another two or three hours untill morning but I cant sleep and have no peace untill I get up , check and do them all. Is that a part of my ocd ? Sometimes I worry about things like bills and things that even tho I cant actually do anything about them untill the morning I worry about , blow out of preportion in my mind and cant get back to sleep, not all the time but sometimes I when I wake up. It's frustrating but amazes me all at the same time