I know I have already blogged my story but i feel i need to say more. Honestly i believe it all started when i was 13. I was in the 8th grade, and i had a crush on this girl, in my eyes she was the most beautiful and greatest person, it took me awhile to work up the courage to ask out but i did it, and she admitted she liked me to. I couldnt believe she would like a guy like me, but we dated, our first date was on the week of my birthday and it was great, holding hands, hugs. Every 13-year-olds dream right? :p. My friends were pushy and influential which i think was the ultimate downfall of the relationship, we argued alot over stupid things, i admit alot of times it was my jealousy, but the thing is I loved that girl with everything fibre of my being. I know its hard to believe a 13 year old being in true love but i know i was, because even though its been three years since we dated i she holds a very solid place in my heart. And why not? we dated for a year, ive hear of marriages that havent lasted that long. Although I like to think ive moved on, i really wish i could go back, and i regret our break up but I was extremely emotionally attached to her and our relationship but even though she said she loved me back it was obvious to me that her feelings were not as strong as mine, considering she left me for a friend of mine. But such is life, and the politics of a adolescent. i really feel though that this relationship was the greatest cause and the beginning to my emotional stress, and conflict, i was always angry, i could think straight, i was depressed. I really find it strange how things that might not seem so important to some can be so powerful and influential in a persons life, and as humans often we try to supress and hide feelings so we do not have to be in pain, but all that does is push us away from being a human, we emotionally detach and are unable to feel, I myself suffered in this way i tried to supress emotions so i didnt have to feel pain and eventually i just began to become detached… I think for me going into the hospital was the best thing i ever did because now i can heal and everyday i am able to recognize my feelings better and better. Being a Human being in this day and age is a very tough challenge, there is so much going on we are not able to stop and recognize whats going on, but it is when we "Stop to smell the flowers" that we can appreciate all the gifts we are given and realize that we are blessed to be Human.

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