Don't have much to say today. Well, I do but there's no sense in writing about it ~ I've been blogging about my depression almost everyday and I'm sure people are tired of reading about it.

I am really upset this morning ~ I got on a scale today and I'm back up to me top weight…thanks a lot Abilify! It's also me snacking on carbs and sugars because I'm craving them all the time. I'm not normally like that. Guess it's time to only let myself have one soda a day and back way off on the coffee with creamer.

When I told my husband about the weight gain he just simply shrugged and said "Don't worry, you've been this weight before. Now you just have to cut back on some things, that's all". And then he hugged me. That's one of the best things about him ~ his complete acceptance of me how Ilook no matter what. It really is a wonderful trait to have. It reminds meof why we're still together after all that we have been through.

I have a therapy appointment this afternoon at 5. It was arelief to me to find out that I did indeedhave oneand wouldn'thave to wait 2 more weeks before I could see her. I think she could help a lot with how I've been feeling.

Today I getto go retrieve my Christmas present from my Mom and I'm so excited about it ~ I really wanted a good camerafor photography and that was her gift to me. I don't get it untilChristmas but that's okay. I can wait another few days. 😉

So we went to my son's play this morning and it was cute. His grandpa and Uncle came to see it too. I love that hehas such wonderful grandparents onmy husband's side of the family. He's actually got 4 sets of grandparents, buthe never sees my Dad. It bothers me that hedoesn't really have a lotof interest in his only grandchild (and the only one he'll ever have because I have no siblings). How do you not want to get involved with your own flesh and blood? I guess I just have to accept that he is what he is and remember that he wasn't much of a father to me either. But I know a lot of people don'thave much for family and are estranged from them almost completely. I should count Zachary lucky because the rest ofhis grandparents adore him.

My neighbor broughta horse home yesterday. He's so pretty. I thinkhe'sa Quarter Horse ~ he has the right markings and colors and height forone. I'm listening to him neigh and whinny right now. He's youngso he's playful. My onlyconcern is thatourneighbors live in Key West most of the time, and there's no way they can take himwith them. I think they have family down the street to takecare of him and feed him most of thetime, but still he'll be alone way too much. That makes me sad for him.

Today is our last day of warm weather for awhile ~ yaaaay! Tonight the temperature is going to drop and then we'll be chilly for the entire weekend. I can't wait ~ the campfire is calling my name already. 🙂

Aaron made me shower and wash my hair last night ~ otherwise he would have physically dragged me in there if I didn't agree to it myself. So I took a shower and washed my hair finally. I didn't go so far as to shave my legs, but who cares? My leg and arm hairs are really light blonde so it's hard to see them anyhow.

Last night I was up for a long time because my son couldn't sleep. He was too excited about the play this morning. I ended up falling asleep on the futon with him trying to get him to relax. At 11 p.m. Aaron woke me up and I moved into our bed because I was afraid I wouldn't hear the alarm if I stayed asleep next to Zachary. It's on the other side of the room and I have a hard time waking up as it is when it's right next to me. I have multiple alarms set to make sure I wake up. I need to get one of those alarms that goes under your pillow and vibrates when it's time to get up. They're so expensive though. But the nice thing about them is that you can't shut it off without getting it out from underneath the pillow which means sitting up and finding the thing.

I think I'm going to go take a nap ~ I'm pretty tired. It's got to be the medications I'm taking. I'm feeling a bit better today ~ no suicidal thoughts or wanting to cut. That's a big difference from yesterday even.

Alright…now about that nap….

1 Comment
  1. YaminoKaaten 9 years ago

    Great to see you're feeling okay.  I've never understood how women can be so paranoid over their weight, but I'm not trying to say it's a bad thing.  Just that it shouldn't be looked at in such a bad light.

    Asides from that, I hope your winter turns out to be enjoyable.  Personally, I can't take the cold, but I'm just warm blooded I guess.  Take care, and my regards to your son.  He sounds like he's growing up into a fine young man.

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