I\'ve decided to give blogging properly a go – like a blog a day. Or maybe every other day if I\'m too busy (or can\'t be arsed). I\'ve heard that it can help to lower anxiety, maybe just a little, by writing about some feelings daily.
Today I\'m feeling pretty rubbish, but at the same time ok. If that makes sense.
Had an argument with Harry. Just a small one thankfully. He acted kind of badly in front one of my friends on Friday night. We were just hanging around in my room, and my friend stayed right where she was even when harry turned up, obviously not understanding that we wanted to spend some time alone now and it was getting late. I didn\'t really mind though, and kept up the friendly chatter for another 40 minutes whilst Harry got more and more irritated by her constant yabbering on. I can see why he was annoyed, because I\'d invited him over so that we could spend time together, but he must have known that I couldn\'t just tell her to leave. And he just sat there staring at the tv and looking bored and annoyed and not saying anything for about 20 minutes, which was a little awkward. There\'s no way I\'d be like that around his friends, especially if I\'d only met them once or twice before. I would have tried to join in the conversation and look interested and smile anyway. It was just a little embarassing. But meh, he\'s apologised and hopefully she didn\'t even notice it, but I still feel a bit crap about the argument. I said I was sorry loads of times but he still acted like it was all my fault for ages. Later he admitted he\'d had a bad day so reacted worse to me saying something than he should\'ve. And I know I\'ve probably made more of arguments than I should\'ve in the past, so I\'m not really bothered.
It just doesn\'t seem to take much to make me feel really alone these days and want to curl up in a ball 😐