Lately i have been noticing that i can be emotional but at the same time emotionally detached.  I guess it stems from being in a household with a step parent and always being told by my dad not to say anything and to keep the peace even when she was wrong alot of the times. Also im struggling with my sexuality and im married so I cannot explore as i would like to. My father is heavily into the bible and doesnt believe in same sex couples and he will talk down on anyone who isnt heterosexual.  I feel like my whole life i been having to hide this whole part of me. Now i live with regrets of not knowing if i rather be with a woman or not. Then there is my marriage. I love my husband but after finding texts of him talking to another woman n even going to the extent of saying he loves her i dont know if i will ever feel the same about him. Especially because he keep promising to change but he is obsessed (for lack of a better word) with attention. Seems like everything he does is for attention now.  He even calls himself a narcissist. Anyways i just needed to vent because all i do is live in my thoughts.