Mania sets in….not so bad at all it seems at first. After all, its a feel good part of bipolar disorder. But it is also the go a thousand miles an hour in no sensible direction while not sleeping a couple nights in a row part! Next week I start my second semester at school, and that is what started all the insanity in my life as of late. After two really stable years my medicines cannot seem to stabilize me any more. It has been up and down and entirely unpredictable ever since. Now I am exhausted from all my thoughts, and thoroughly annoyed with my illness! I know that I will crash…and when I do I will get some rest as well. So it is prepare now! I am having to re learn how to cope with the instability I havent felt so intensely since I was an undiagnosed and wild teenager! But I am older and wiser now. I have learned how to ask for help. I have learned that I can be forgiven my mistakes. And I have learned to ignore any thoughts on how others may perceive me. They are not relevant in my life. My family is, and that is an unconditional promise. So I may be delirious with exhaustion. I may flake out on plans I had made for the next few days. And I may cry all day long on the day before classes start. But Ill get through. I am older and wiser and a hell of a lot stronger than before, perhaps more than I know. We all are. We tend not to allow ourselves forgiveness or self compassion, and sell ourselves short. But we are strong. We didnt stay alive this long by being weak. I am going to hold on to that, and I hope all of you will remember your strenght as well. 🙂 We got this

1 Comment
  1. MariaGreta 6 years ago

    That is the ticket! I find myself absolutely delighted with mnyself over the smallest things…things that are so every day to others I have to laugh at myself..and revel in my little success as well damn it!

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