My fiance has an interview in Decatur, IL tomorrow. Decatur is a little more than 3 hours from us. I can't help but to feel a little down. This is like a replay of last summer when we treked out to Pawnee (about a 4 hour drive) for another interview. We were sure he was a shoe-in… But they never even sent him a rejection letter.

He's an excellent teacher. So good at what he does that I envy him for being such an asset to his school. They really sing his praises like you wouldn't believe. Only problem is, he teaches at a Catholic high school in a low income community. Their pay is a really bad joke. He has to work a part time job on the weekends just to (barely) make ends meet.

I want us to get out of this area. I've lived in NWI my entire life, and I can tell you there is nothing worth sticking around for.

I feel as though if I find substantial work I'll only end up having to leave it in order to stay with him. He'll find some teaching job out in Who-knows-where, Illinois and I'll have to quit my job to go with him. What's the point? I don't even really WANT to do anything but write anyway? Life doesn't work that way though, does it?

I really do want to move away. I want to get out of this drab city and see new faces and places–even if I'm still trapped in the midwest. I'm just afraid to hope. I'm tired of hoping and planning only to find myself here another year, still looking for a steady job.

I just feel like his interviewing skills are disasterous–they don't reflect his skills as a really kick-ass teacher. He goes overboard, and I think that kills his chances–but he won't listen to any constructive crit from me. I think that maybe once people hit a certain age, they become inflexable and scornful of suggestions of change.

If I'm our only hope for leaving the armpit of Indiana… Oh shit…

Please, God(dess), let this go well. Please give us a chance.