I just got back from runnning….now, this in and of itself, is, of course, not a bad thing…After all, we all have heard the health benefits of exercising, blah, blah, blah, so it is good in that regard….and it is also good for me on another level: I was so done in with severe deression and enxiety issues the past three years, that the thought of getting out even to as so much go for a walk was unthinkable…so…if I\'m out running, it\'s a good thing for me in that regard….but what\'s not good?….It was over a hundred degrees outside when I ran….not considered safe weather for running….maybe it\'s okay if u just do it for a few minutes on a day like this, but I ran for more than a few minutes….so it makes me wonder….yeah, it\'s POSSIBLE that I\'ve been doing better lately overall, these last few months in particular…….getting out more, not laying in bed all day waiting for the world to crumble like I spent doing for days on end during the worst of the Dark Days(started approx May \'09)…so all that is progress I suppose….but….there are anxiety-proviking situations looming on the horizon…and if they don\'t work out the right way, there is fear that it could lead me on a path back to severe depression….When I do things like go running in this kind of weather, is it because deep down, I have the fears that things still are far from great and that there is the potential for them to get really bad again?…And…by unwisely running in this weather…..am I deep down saying "let\'s do ill-advised things that could endanger my health and whatever happens happens…"? I know it\'s a horrible thing to say, but I think I pretty much had a "death wish" when things were at their worst. Even though things are allegedly "better", I\'m wondering if I subconciously still do.
Related Articles
-
Better than most
Cassandry33, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Career, Child, Grief, Medication, Psychosis, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 0
Hey hey! So today was a pretty good day. I recently got hired for security at a casino, and...
-
Feel like Disappearing
Sarina_Luna94, , Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 1
Last night I cried myself to sleep and felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t...
-
Negativity Burns my soul
Katymyster24, , Anxiety, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Divorce, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
While I was searching for the right word for 'my mood', I wanted to choose angry. But I am...
-
-
Disappointment
Twiggysiren, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Psychosis, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Spirituality, Therapist, 0
I don’t know what to write about, I just know I want to write. I had an appointment with...
-
The Monster
XxHarleyBlackxX, , Anxiety, Depression, Wellness Tips, 0
I’m friends with the monster under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head. You’re trying...
-
Little bit about me
sayheylou, , Anxiety, Anxiety, Sleep Disorders, 2
I'm new on here and so far I like the vibe I'm getting. I'm not super big on the...
-
It didn’t work…yet
Twiggysiren, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Therapist, Therapy, 0
I took a Calm-Aid this afternoon, and proceeded to have a terrible anxiety attack as if I’d just taken...
0 Comments