I do not freaking get it! Why must I always being strong for everyone else…why can no one ever be strong for me? For my entire life, I have always had to be the strong one, I have always had to make everyone happy, but it never freaking matters when I need to be helped and made happy…

This is something that doesn’t matter to anyone around me, my feelings either get ignored, or I get told to get the hell over it…but if I say that to anyone I have to deal with them wanting to commit suicide or self injury or something…but if those thoughts ever cross my mind, it’s a damn crime! I am so sick of this…no one ever realizes how much I need them…how much I need to be made smile.

It seems like when I need the most help, when I am closest to killing myself because I can no longer handle it, someone comes up to me and tells me that they need me. I cant say no….or go away…and I sure as hell cant tell them that I need help more, so what am I supposed to do????

I know a lot of people will say “Give it to God” or something like that, but dammit I spent my entire life trying to give it to God, and it seemed like things just got worse. Yeah my religion says I’m Wiccan, but in all honesty I don’t know what I am…and I swear if someone comments on this thing and starts putting bible verses, I will freaking block them, because all that will do is piss me off. I may believe in God, and Jesus, but there is more, and I am to the point, that I do not want religion stuck down my throat…

I am so sick of feeling like everyone else is supposed to come before me….

1 Comment
  1. naomijane 9 years ago

    First of all i aspire you to look on the bright side. People obviously look up to you as being a strong, competant understanding person. That is some gift! But hay we're all human and we can't always stand rock solid 24/7 of course its gonna make you feel used but in the long term im sure they will all be there for you when you most need it! and sorry if this is a quote but ' You are number one in Gods eyes' and theres hundreds of people online here willing to talk/rant/vent or whatever, talk to me 🙂 but i advise u keep ur friends close! i wish i did..i miss them so much. God bless x

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