Had a pretty horrible week.  I have tried just about every medication for OCD and as a last attempt my doctor noticing that I had frequent panic attacks, a high pulse rate, and high blood pressure, put me on blood pressure medicine that she felt might also help my anxiety and prevent panic attacks.  She also recommended that I try an herbal remedy along side it..  So for the past few weeks I've been taking Propranolol 10 mg twice daily, and St. John's Wort. Since taking this I have felt tremendously better, but I ran out of meds earlier this week.  Then my job which I had been promised back after I filed a complaint about them firing me for medical absences that I had documentation for, fell through.  They basically said I resigned even though I didn't.  So because they won't say that I was fired I can't get unemployment. So I have been stressing hard core about find another job which is super difficult when you are agoraphobic, have a fear of driving on top of that, and severe social anxiety.  My boyfriend is sweet enough to pay all the bills, but we have been barely squeaking by.  Then out of nowhere one of my best friends who is our roommate (one of my only friends who gets my OCD and has been great about it) pulls a 180 and bails on us.  He just packed up his stuff in the middle of the night 2 days before rent is due and disappeared.  He is not answering my calls or messages.  It sucks.  I know it is because his girlfriend who is draining the life out of him encouraged him to do so.  So now I'm in the midst of a financial nightmare and depressed about losing a friend and being betrayed, and I'm out of meds. I also had to cancel my halloween plans (my boyfriend had bought me a cute costume and actually convinced me to go out) because we couldn't afford to go out after my roommate bailed.  I'm feel like I'm fighting 2 dragons at one time.  I fight my OCD and anxiety, and then on the other hand I have to fight the shit the world throws at me.  Hoping to have a better day soon.

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    I am sorry you are in such a stressful place. Momma said there would be days like this.

    :w00t:

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