Hi everyone

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog last, and thought I should do one as i’m not feeling "brilliant" today/this morning/whatever you want to call it

As I type this, it’s 01:38am, I’m not tired, and have no intentions of sleeping as it comes.

I have to be up early in the morning to go see someone about getting some money, Job Seekers Allowance we call it. Or "the doll"

Pretty much sick of trying to find another job, when there is so little work out there for someone of my stature in this world. No-one wants to take on a wierd, 19 year old without qualifications.

I have the experience needed to get a job, but I guess the lack of qualifications are holding me back.

I tried to go in for more qualifications, but I don’t have the patience to be sat in some kind of school without actually getting any money. It’s hard to keep up a smoking habit when you have no cash!

And the reason for smoking? Well, at the time I didn’t have the guts to try and kill myself, so I figured smoking would kill me eventually… Still waiting…

I then found smoking calmed me down to an extent when I was stressed out, which is a good thing considering my situation in life at the moment.

So, lets list the things I failed at in life:

1) Suicide.

2) Keeping my son

3) Holding down a stable relationship.

4) School.

5) Adding life to the list seems apropriate, I suppose.

6) Keeping friends.

7) Lack of isolation from the world. Who was I kidding?

8) Reading. I used to love sitting down with a book… Now, I don’t have the concentration.

9) Expressing myself. I can’t let it out! It stays inside and boils up.

10) Making new friends. Yeah, right…

11) Relationships – Not even going into these.

12) Taking the medication I was given…

13) Lists! I have a massive weakness for writing these.

14) Family. They all drift away slowly.

That’s about everything I can remember failing at in life, including life itself.

Heh, at least I can type I suppose. About the only thing i’m good at I suppose now. Oh, and keeping Internet friends. Yah, good at that!

I can’t believe myself sometimes.

Oh well, back to the thoughts again.

This is me, signing off.

-GreenSkies.

 

 

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