So it's Sunday morning and I am just about ready to drop. Spent all night fighting the feelings of being alone and so very lost, could not sleep at all. I just can't understand that feeling last night because normaly I would rather be alone, not having to explain why I feel the way I do or having to try to smile when I would rather just sit down and pull the world in around me and slide into the dark places. I would dose off then wake up in fear, not fear of the unknown or fear of someone, but fear of having no one and being alone forever.
I'm not even sure why it's important to me but sometimes I just think it would be nice if some one would look at me and smile, for me, you know? Feel their hands against my face and know they honestly cared for what was behind my eyes, not to look at me acusingly and demanding for an answer I can no longer give them; or myself. Oh well, today is another day and time marches on waiting for no man, not even me.
So here it is in a nutshell.
I wake up this morning, with many thoughts of dread,
What is my direction, and of what lies just ahead.
Sometimes I see the mirror, and just what is in view,
Not what is inside me, but hidden now from you.
Inside is a soul that’s crying, as the moments just pass by,
Outside a face that’s laughing, not really knowing why.
Inside my heart grows stronger, and sharpens the mind
Outside my frame is older, and shows the pass of time,
Inside my spirit quickens, for just one touch of love,
Outside my eyes are seeing that which is just above.
I walk this day in silence, wishing I could see as you,
The beauty you say is shinning, as life again renews.
Yes I know what’s inside me, is what is most desired,
But outside the eyes see failings, and just gets somewhat tired.