So I googled ocd communities and this came across, and it seems very welcoming and supportive. This is the first time I have admitted to having OCD, umm I have an irrational fear of getting sick, I am not a germaphobe, i do not constantly wash my hands or things like that, but I obsess that I am going to vomit and be ill for days. I know its not really common with ocd, or at least no one i have met yet has had similar things expect my 13 year old sister is the exact way except i obsess a lot more and do compulsions.
It is very difficult because I dont want to go to sleep until 7am, when iknow i made it through another day fine, i wont do certain things or wear items of clothing that i wore or did on days i got sick, i constantly check my temperature, poke my stomach, check complexion, pace, count, to help my anxiety.

I finally spoke to my dr about it, and hopefully good news arrives soon about therapy, its just so hard to wait cuz everynight i get a massive anxiety attack, and sit here crying and feeling so lost and crazy and hopeless that I will ever get over this. I cant do this anymore, its way to exhausting, its taking up my whole life, i can barley sleep anymore and sometimes am too scared to eat incase i get sick from it.

Ijust dont know what to do anymore, I dont want to have to worry 24/7 about something that i have no control over .. i want to be able to go through a day without thinking bout it, without checking, without being scared to eat or sleep, i just want to live .. to the fullest,