Wow im exhausted..can hardly keep my eyes open! i went out on a date today with a guy i met in the gym!! i never thought i'd find anyone after Stuart..nobody would want me..im begining to think differently now.. i just wish i could tell him the truth! i had a great day with him and 'the happy naomi' but he doesn't know the 'real me' the lonely girl who cuts herself and takes too many tablets if things gets too much =/

i wish i could talk to him about these things, not in too much depth obviously but i really dont want to build up a relationship on lies 🙁 i really like him, he's a gentlemen..he's different, he's kind to me..think its just what i need..

But then again it'd break russells heart and stress me out even more…gaaaah

But focusing on the positives of today…we went fishing!! and had a picnic ( im scared of fish, yet today i caught 5 fish and held 2 of them!!) suprised myself…!! shocked in fact!! um yeah we were there for hours..he's really into it..it did get abit boring but i tried to enjoy the peace and quiet in the tranquil area. Anyway it started to rain so we packed up and went to a pub for dinner, we had a delicous thai dish and shared a soup starter! We both had 1 and a half drinks..and then later on we went to the gym where we met and went swimming and went in the steam room! We were talking about massages over dinner so we were trying it out in the steam room, aha (PG i promise) it did get too hot tho so we kept coming out for air and a splash in the pool lol..and then he kissed me 😮 omgosh such a good kisser…i kissed him back..we snogged in the pool a few times until the gym staff kicked us out for closing time lol..so we parted and met outside after we were changed..he gave me a lift home and we kissed goodnight…ah i feel like im in dreamland………………………….

don't even know if i'm ready for a relationship so soon after stuart =/ hmmm im seeing my counseller 2moro, il be able to think about it then…

sorry for the details.. i just wanted to let it all out so i can maybe look back on it to review the positives….goodnight <3 xx