Alright so, Again I failed today…Didn't go to school and had to make up another excuse on why I couldn't make it to her with lunch today…Tomorrow I don't think I can pull it again though…

Plus I had to see the GYN today…and that SO didn't help my anxiety and I was worried about him seeing my self-harm scars..

But I'll go more into that in my next entry…

So, This morning mom and dad were fighting again. My brother being the lucky bastard he was, was gone and already at school (since I was home I had to deal with it)

Long-story-short, Mom and dad are at it again- Literally as I write this there fighting in the next room,

Bringing up past mistakes, he's mad that they haven't 'done it' in seven years (gross), also she keeps throwing in his face that we found Porn on his phone

and how "God would never do that, you call your self a Christian man?" and so on, and he's like "Yeah well God wouldn't get so drunk he almost killed his kids becuase he was driving"

(That happened last thanksgiving, she was so drunk she attacked dad basically, and it's just…a REAL long story)

and so on and so on, and they're still fighting. Of course i'm dealing with this mess alone with just my dogs, cus my brother is at a school play for his class…

and plus he's upset because he "can't keep leaving work to take me to doctor appointments" and so basically i'm one the causes for the fights, i'm just a HUGE burden..

Mom is calling me, I gotta go…I'll talk to you later…If I don't knock myself out on Xanax first…