So if things weren't already bad enough… my dad came by to collect his posessions today so my sister and I took our dog to the park so we didn't have to see our dad… so that added some stress on me, probably some anxiety too, but I don't really feel it, like I have said before I feel numb for the most part, almost emotionless, I do feel angry to a point but even that is just numb to a point if it makes sense, I may have suppressed my emotions subconciously I don't know it worries me, I feel like my mind is always on the harm OCD thoughts they just keep coming and I can't get my mind off it, it worries me, especially because of this numbness. Am I sociopath, psychopath, sexual sadist etc.? I just keep thinking about these terms and whether they relate to me, it almost feels like I'm trying to convince myself I am… but I am not, I have never been like those kinds of people….I hate this, I'm so angry about it, but to top it off, here is the big thing, so I said before my brother has caused so much shit over the past six months here is an example that just happened tonight…. my brother went with my mom to get groceries, (he has been grounded from going out because of his actions) and he was bugging my mom about letting him off his punishment but she was standing firm in her choice and my brother was like "All I talk about in at my counselling sessionsis how much I hate you and how you make my life miserable, oh and for your information I am still drinking and smoking weed" and my brother said this aloud in the grocery store, in front of a ton of people….. and when I heard he said it I did feel anger but then I was like why am I not more angry? I should be sad as well? or at least upset? why am not feeling like everybody else would feel?…. everything feels so confusing for me, I am worried I am going to just snap one day and shut down…. I feel like I need to leave my home but at the same time I don't wanna leave my mom and my dog, but I'm losing myself, my identity, I'm hearbroken and lost I don't know what to do anymore..