Well today is shaping up to be a strange day. I feel pretty good. I made amends with my friend that told me he wasnt going to be around to watch me self destruct. I hope we will be ok. He said he was proud of me for finding a new therapist and following through with it. And I told him that I have been feeling better and he said he was glad. I got up really early this morning 4 am…but I slept well. My sister was online when I got up this morning. We have not spoken in over 2 years. She posted a picture on facebook and she looked so much like our Mom in the picture that I had to comment on it. Then she sent me an email. Come to find out she has moved and now lives like 5 miles from me. She did not know where I live. She also works in the mall that is right down the road from my apartment. She gave me her address and phone number…I did not do the same. Our relationship is so messed up. She couldn't handle the nervous breakdown that I had over 2 years ago…she screamed into the phone that it was my fault that she was molested by my father (eventhough I was only a year old when it happened)…and that it is my fault that Mom died. She doesn't need to blame me for that I spend enough time blaming myself (my Mom and I were arguing and the argument ended when she had a heart attack and died). I miss my sister terribly but man she can be a wicked bitch. She is afraid that I want her to take the place of our Mother but all I really want is for her to be my big sister. I am very nervous to have opened that door…I am also excited to possibly have a relationship with her again seeing as she is pretty much my only family…but I feel like I need to proceed with caution. I wonder how this is all going to work out.
-
Medicated and Not Ashamed
Proanamia, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Medication, Suicide, 0
I know in my past couple of blogs, I've mentioned that I stopped taking my medication back in October...
-
Life Crisis
Bonsailight, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Child, Domestic Abuse, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 2
For those of you who could possibly care, I've recently turned 40. I can't tell whether I'm old or...
-
Sad, But At Peace
KnockedDown, , Depression, Relationships, 1
Today is obviously a sad day to be alone. On Valentine's Day it is hard to take knowing everyone...
-
Weight in the world
GetBetter, , Depression, Obesity, Questions, Relationships, Weight Loss, 1
It's a bit weird, but probably what's a bit weird is that the past few hours I've been thinking...
-
About Me
therisenfirebird, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I have suffered from major depression and Anxiety since i was about 8 years old. this followed a lot...
-
No more fighting!!!
Brokenwings7, , Depression, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
I've always been a fighter. One to never give up. Always got called relentless… But there are certain things...
-
Sad face
Silent_Tears68, , Depression, Child, Depression, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, 1
I hate feeling unnoticed. Especially by the ones closest to you. My husband took my oldest son to the...
-
Friday June 19 2015 am
Star2015, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Forgiveness, Religion, Sleep Disorders, 0
Woke up this morning and felt refreshed. Which is strange because I was so down last night when I...