I’ve been listening to self love podcast, reading books about trauma, made a little goal list for myself. I have been trying to live in the present, and use the kind of communication I want others to use with me.

So then why do I have the feeling people are using me? I am happy bright and positive. I know that those things took a while to grow. Trust me if you read my blog you will see how much I have grown. Sometimes I look back at them and read them. Unsure if that is healthy for me or not. I feel like i’m lacking attention. Isnt that stupid I know I’m not the main character to everyone. I know I am not the center of everyones Universe but.. But I’m annoyed that I do. That I want that feeling.

That says alot about me right? I try and try to fill that stupid lonely hole inside me with books, food, workouts, Anime romance, and work. Yet at the end of the day I am me. Alone in the car, in my room, at dinner, in the store, and at work. I hate the feeling of wanting love. Like as if that will solve all of my problems and I don’t want it because it is a distraction from my own personal goals.

The man i want doesn’t seem to want me as badly as I want him. OH whale on to the next. I hate it here

2 Comments
  1. lacey7 8 months ago

    Littlewing,

    Yes, I have seen your personal growth in your blogs as time as passed.

    The person who you love is missing out on a wonderful person. You are a treasure and are lovable. You were always worthy of love. He is really missing out on you!

    I am very proud of you. All you can do your your best and that is more than good enough!

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  2. Author
    littlewing 7 months ago

    Ive been putting in the work because I believed my Insecurities were what made me hold back alot. I like to think that I alot of what I did in the past was to protect myself. just so I remember not to regret whatever I might have done good or bad. I appreciate your support.

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