He's seen all sides of me today. We talked, and i opened upa little more and explained the scars on my wrist, he even got teary eyed when he asked if itwas self inflicted.i cried, he hugged me and wiped my tears. it was perfect. i told him about my past relationships and trust issues! and he still wants me?!!! yes.

we slept together for the first time last week, it was his first time. He admited today he wasn't even nervous. and neither was i. i've never felt so relaxed…

something happened about half an hour ago tho just before he left.

we were lying on my bed, i teasingly took his phone and hid it behind my back and he grabbed me so tight and kissed me while he wrestled to get the phone back. i tried to see it as a joke at first but i had to use strength in my arms to push him away coz he was kissing me really agressively. I paused for a minute to catch my breath and regain my confidence to speak. It bought back horrible memories from college. i explained this to him and he was so apologetic! it was just teasing coz he was trying to get his phone back. i just felt a sudden urge of panic as he pushed me against the wall. my heart raced! but i'm so glad i was able to tell him this after. and he still wants me! we spoke for hours just sat on my bed this evening. He opened up some deep emotions of his own aswell. last 5 minutes before we left we were just laying down, he had one arm around me and holding my hand. i felt imediately comfortable again. He whispered in my ear, this is perfection. i whispered back in agreement. then his mum called to say she's here to pick him up, i didn't want to let him go.

i'm just so glad i've found happiness and trust in a man again after all i've been through! its emotional but i'm trying to stay on the positive track about it!

<3 love him.