Totally new to this, not even sure what Ido or what Iwrite, who Italk to or anything.

I've read some of the blogs and some are really inspirational. They teach you that you can still move forward with life and enjoy new experiences. One of myfears arefairground rides. I am so scared of them. Always anxious and have thoughts racing around of "what if the ride crashes and I die?" or "what if it gets stuck?" … Also am anxious when it comes to tunnels. I build up anxiety and end up having panic attacks. I think my overall fear is a painful death. It sounds stupid, but my fair of rides is not that I won't enjoy it, it's the premonitions in my head that I make up about if it crashes I'll die.

I do have other problems, but I'm working on them. Depression, Paranoia, OCD and Suicide. Dealing with these problems is almost impossible sometimes. I hate it, because I'll be fine one day and then the next I'm completely back to how I was. Battling with these problems is definitely tough work. aswell as trying to balance a, what seems to be, full-time job and trying to sort out my future by applying for university again. Sometimes I feel so alone and have no one to help me or just give me that boost that I need to get out of bed in the morning and do something with my life rather than sit back and let these problems rule me.

I'm trying my best. People who don't go through what I have to deal with, don't understand how hard it is and that it won't disappear within' one day. It's tough trying to explain it to people who don't understand. Just want to feel that bit more normal.


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