SO I havnt been on the site in ages OCD's been alright and depression well it is what it is and I'm working on it.
Today while moving my elliptical machine I dropped one end of it on my right foot … the pain was intense and i hobbled around and "walked it off '' I used to play a lot of sports this was usually the approach to a minor injury lol anyways so once I had that semi under control I continued moving the machine to a different room , once in the room I went to stan it up right and the leg of the machine came down and cracked me across the side of the head.
Immediately I went into panic mode … I had a serious head injury about 5 years ago playing rugby and was hospitalized since then i guess you could say more or less i obsess about my health … if my heart races or I feel a pain in my chest I have anxiety and think I'm going to have a heart attack and die in my sleep , if I have a pain in my abdomen it's my gaul bladder going to bust in my sleep or whenever … and now voila … I'm terrified to go to bed because I've convinced myself I will not wake up.
I had the initial panic attack when it happened I tried the whole logical approach ie. I didnt black out , there was no sign of blood, I wasnt dizy disoriented or felling nautious I still knew my name and what was going on and i called a friend to talk to me while I winded down the anxiety.
this all happened around 12 hours ago since then I have had a nap
there is a little swelling .. like a bump and it's super tender but I dont have a headach or any other symptoms besides the tenderness and egg.
I decided not to go to the hospital …. that was hard for me I wanted to rush right there and calm my nerves.
anyways 12 hours later and I have to work in 7 hours time for a 8 hour shift and I could cry and tear my hair out rather then attempt sleep right now. I want to call someone and have them call and check on me every half hour I am going over and over in my head trying to come up with an action plan that will satisfy the anxiety .
Bottom line is I could really use some comforting reassurment that if i give in and try to get to sleep that I will be okay .