This is the second full week since in-person school started. I don’t see the point in going, because I don’t understand my classes. I’m learning in my second language, and nothing sticks. On top of that, I’m juggling 14 subjects, most of which are mandatory. I’m feeling more and more stressed as the days go by, and I don’t know how to cope. It’s been almost a year since I attended this school, and I recall almost nothing for what I’ve learned. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s so tiring pretending that everything’s okay in front of others. Not many use English to converse outside of English class, and I just feel so alone.
I’m not learning. But it’s just me being left behind. I can’t catch up, and I don’t have the will to either.
I’m losing my sense of self, but I don’t want to tell my family. I’m already incompetent. I don’t want them to see me as a complete failure and a weak person. I don’t want them to think “your sisters did it, so why can’t you?”
I don’t know what to do.
What do I do? I’m so tired, I don’t want to try anymore when trying my best won’t even get me anywhere.