I don’t pretend to be a therapist or shrink however every breath you breathe is life and there’s the chance it can get better with hope and courage to continue on. Have faith there are meds that work and people who care. For I am one of them. I care and its a sense of hopelessness that sets us in a dark place. You are reaching out for help by blogging here. That takes courage. Don’t give in things can get better. You are not alone.