I haven’t been able to blog in a while because everytime I try to blog about something, this issue invades whatever I’m blogging about, and I end up with a totally messed up blog that’s jumping back and fourth between two issues, and doesn’t make sense.
Someone told me to get it out of my system, and blog about it.
A few weeks back, a girl talked me into being her boyfriend, even though I prefer to get to know someone before allowing the title.
She hit a soft spot when she said “How will you know unless you give it a chance.
I like to know that we have enough in common for a relationship to work.
Well, after one week of arguing over what to do with our time together, and I had enough of it.
we had nothing in common, at all.
A week and a half into the relationship, I was with her, trying to figure out how to break up without hurting her feelings.
While stressing myself out over that, she starts in on me physically (sexualy).
I went numb, and couldn’t speak.
I told her no, and why a week before that, but I couldn’t say anything right then.
Anyway, she had her way with me, and I hope she got no enjoyment from it.
I left, and 1/2 week later, I finally did break up with her, and I wasn’t very nice about it either, and I hope her feelings were hurt bad.
She knew I didn’t want sex early in the relationship, and jumped me anyway.
I’ve been dry for 3 1/2 years, not because I couldn’t get laid, but because I’m picky, and know what I want.
I have no problem picking up women, but I’m not a man whore.
I want a relationship that’s real, and you can’t have that without having a connection first.
I never had that connection with her, and was trying to get out of it.
Now I’m rambling on, and need to quit before this blog gets way too big.
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When my therapist asks me the cliched question how are you doing I don’t know what to tell her....
You told her from the beginning you didnt know if you had enough in common to make that decision. It sounds like she forced this relationship thing on you. You tried to tell her nicely that you didnt want to be with her. So dont ever feel bad about how you had to tell her. She sounds like a real controll freak.. Having something in common with the person you are sharing your time with is what you build on, You found you didnt have this with this girl so you let her go. Good job. You sound like a really nice guy who doesnt use women. She probably thinks that sex is what makes a relationship and she pushed herself on you. I believe that you were violated. Some people dont take no for a ansewr so sometimes if you have to be mean to get your point across. You are a good guy and know what you want from a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. I think you are a strong person. Someone will come your way who wants the same things you do.
I always look for common interests with a girlfriend.
I don’t care if a woman is physically attractive, or not, as long as we can get along well.
The physical attraction always shows itself later if you love each other.
If a woman wants the title of my girlfriend, that’s ok if she will take it slow, but I want to see that we have some common interests before things go too far.
I don’t want a boring relationship, or a relationship of fights.
I’m sorry that happened to you, its hard to explain why you want to move slow and I agree there is nothing wrong about being picky! But i am sorry she did that to you,
I didn’t get undressed.
She did all the work.
She was quick, and pulled my thing out. Twice as I had partially put it back once.
I just didn’t know what to do after that.
She didn’t get undressed either.
She had a dress on, and I think she had it planned.
I really wasn’t expecting her to do that.
One thing that might help some of you understand why I couldn’t stop her is that I was molested when I was younger, and I just clam up whenever something similar is happening.
When I said that I couldn’t speak, I mean I literally could not speak.
I had hoped she had some respect when I told her that I wanted to wait, and why.
For the next two days I was beating myself up because I never said no when she was getting what she wanted.
Or at least I don’t think I said no at that time.
sometimes the most meaningful blogs are the ones that cover many corners. Streams of consciousness always give insight to what ones thinking. i agree with the commenter above, that does sound alot like rape. I really unforunately dont know what to say except i hope this is something that manages to find its way behind you.