I've been overthinking stuff again and I've now wound myself up so much I can't stop crying. 

 I had to go to a wedding today.  It should have been a happy occasion but this is the first time I would rather have picked my eyeballs out with a spoon than go.

The people getting married today were our 'witnesses' at our wedding last year.  Although I wanted a friend from London, I was talked into taking a couple and so we chose my husband's best friend and his girfriend as they were good friends of ours.

When they decided to get married, they didn't tell me.  I had to find out 6 months down the line that my husband was a witness (although it seems my husband did tell me but I don't remember).  At the wedding today, we found out that they had both had hen and stag nights but we hadn't been invited.

It has been really hard for me to make friends and this has been one kick in the stomach after another.  What also galls me is that I decided against my best friend in London for this selfish bitch at my own wedding.

 Friends let you down – it happens, but it never bothered me like it does now.  I guess because I don't have many friends, I value those friendships more than most.  Even the friends I have in London mean more to me than I do to them.  It's understandable: I'm not there.  But even they didn't remember my birthday and that really hurt too.

 Icing on the cake: those f*cks are doing a church ceremony in two weeks and I've got to sit at the same table as them.  I think I'll blow chunks over the table during the groom's speech…