Well, this isn't really about depression. But I don't use any other forums so have nowhere else to release/ask.

So a couple weeks back, my partner sent me a message saying that her ex was going to be staying over for 2 night. They split up years ago and have remained friends since. He is now dating a man too. She says she doesn't see him as an ex and he's just a friend. But they had a sexual relationship over a 2 year period, so yeah. They now lives miles and miles apart and see each other once or so per year. But speak daily.

When we first got together he was an utter dick about me. My partner was showing me messages that he was sending, saying how I was a cheating pile of shit and a horrible person and so on. This went on for nearly 2 month. She says he was just being protective of her. But this really tanited my view of him. To be honest, I think I would hit him if we met in person. We have never met or even spoke. For him to say stuff about me without even knowing me just isn't on.

So yeah, when she sent me the message saying he was staying I told her I didn't want him in the family home. (We just had a child 3 month ago) and that I didn't feel comftable about the situation.

Nothing much was really said about it since. Until today, when she said we need to talk about it. She started shouting at me, saying I was being really unfair. Making her pick between me and her best friend. I told her I have no issue with them being friends, but I don't want him in the family home or for me to become friends with him. Which I think is more than fair, after the way he went on.

I suggested he stays in a hotel or with another friend and then they can simply meet up to do stuff. To which I got "there isn't anywhere else for him to stay and he can't come unless it's here". I showed her 5 cheap hotels within 3 miles I found on tripadvisor.

Then she started shouting about how it would spoil their plans to just watch films and play games all day.

She started screaming saying she can't beleive I'm doing this to her and can I not see it from her point of view. That she's stuck in the middle and can't do anything and how unfair I'm being.

To which I responded, can you honestly not see why I'm not happy about this situation? She said she can. But it's not fair and that I need to stop being a dick.

Is this actually me? Am I looking through selfish glasses? It honestly doesn't feel right to me, but I will accept it, if I am in the wrong.

1 Comment
  1. sasha1969 6 years ago

    I would feel exactly as you do.  Ex's are ex's for a reason and I suppose soem can remain friends with theirs but sleeping in the same building woudl make me unconfortable.  Doesn't have to do with whether I trust my partner or not.  It just makes me uncomfortable.

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