I can honestly say it was the worst day of my whole life yesterday!!! I went to counseling which was good as usual but then towards the end I mentioned that I was seriously considering hurting myself & was thinking more specific things instead of general & she got really worried by that & was like do u need to go to the hospital? Well I couldn't really give her an answer I didn't want to but wasn't sure if I should anyway so we went over it & then she asked the standard can u promise u will be safe until next week which I couldn't truthfully say . So we kept talking about it & got to the place where I could promise her I wouldn't do anything last night & I go back to see her at 12 today!!! Which I have no way of paying for & my parents aren't gonna pay for it for sure!!! And a debt collector just called for something that was supposedly taken care of I do not have 5,200 dollars…I don't even have 100 dollars to my name right now . So I have no clue what I am gonna do right now…I should probably just go into the hospital but that is only a temporary fix & I really don't know that it will help other than getting me away from my parents for a few days!!!! I have no options left right now!!!!!! I have no money so even if they give me medication & set me up with some groups for support I can't pay for them & my parents have stopped caring even 1% at this point. I am drowning with no one to save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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