I am going to write something terribly long, and it will most likely bore you.

(Pre Warning)

My life, is a wonder at times. I\'m not really sure what to make of it. I know, for starters I am an extremely blessed individual. I am surrounded by… the most amazing little boys and wonderful, understanding man. Nobody could make me happier.

Thats why my GAD came as a shock. I have absolutely nothing to be ungrateful for but it is the constant thought that comes to mind…\'what if\' my wonderful family is taken away. That thought truly truly hurts more than anything on this planet. SA was one thing, since I had been coping with it my entire life. I realized once I finally faced my fears, and told myself "Get the f*ck over it" (pretty much) it got steadily better. I can speak infront of huge groups of people and maintain myself. Infact, my boss recommended me to supervise my team. Something I have been working towards for the years I\'ve been with my company. I, at this moment realized that this disorder has broadened my horizens. It set free all of those built up feelings that, at times felt unbarable. I have been taken advantage of, abused… as a child neglected. I always felt unwanted and alone. My life always seemed to be a constant struggle.

And there they were, my beautiful amazing little boys. They saved me from all of the torment. And now, I suffer with this terrible feeling that they will be taken away from me. That is what triggered this. The GAD came about because of the extreme love that I have for my little men. They are so amazing, I fell inlove with them the second they entered this world. So, thats my diagnosis. lol. I love them so much.


Mitch and Damon, mommy loves you more than you know.

"Nothings gonna change my world"



  1. thelifeofjade 12 years ago

    \”What If\” is the worst question in the world. It never ends…There is always a \'but\' to whatever anyone tries to offer as comfort it seems. I know there isn\'t really anything to say other then when it gets bad and the what if\'s are screaming at me I try to remember that life is short and I have to try to live every moment to the fullest with those people. Loosing people, my mom & bf especially are huge triggers for me. My 2 safe people … thinking of a life lived with out them doesn\'t even seem possible. But when I\'m with them I try to make sure that its quality time.

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  2. BonnyCB 12 years ago

    I hate \”what ifs\”. =(

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