Tensing up. Mood going down. My Dad has this effect on me all too often.

I talked to my therapist about how I regret not going to school for what I truly enjoy and making decisions based on what my Dad thinks and she suggested that I check into grad school. I made an appointment with a counselor for tomorrow to talk about it and then I stupidly decided to tell my Dad. Now we're back to him not listening to a damn thing I'm saying and I just want to start kicking and screaming. He keeps talking about "making the big bucks" and throwing around "in case you want to come home". He's constantly talking about picking a job that I could do at home "in case you need to come home" which is asinine. Pure stupidity. No one goes to college and bases their job decisions off of what they can do at home, that's disgustingly ridiculous.

I have said, 2 million times now, that I'd like to work in a library or a museum or work with photography/photo editing. He ignores all that and pushes me in a different direction every time. I mention going to grad school for Library Science and the one thing he takes away from our entire discussion is the fact that LS could also lead to working in a hospital. "Ooooh, yeah, you could work in a hospital! The medical field would be great! You could work anywhere and I bet they make the big bucks! And it wouldn't even matter that it's a hospital and not a library, you'd still be doing what you love!" And what is that, Dad? What is it that I love, huh? What do you fucking know about what I love? You don't listen to a fucking word I say, not one fucking word.