I really don't have much to say because I'm not good at this kind of thing. My therapist thought it was a good idea to try it though…ugh…jotting down my thoughts..what a fucking pain in the ass.  My thoughts are so confusing it's hard for me to choose what to start with.  I feel lost but I know I'm home, alone but I'm here with my son, confused about every freaking thing going on in my life, sad about anything anyone even mentions to me, angry yet not sure why, tired even though all I want to do is sleep…the list could go on.  I don't understand it.  I just found out this past week that my therapist is leaving the clinic she's been at for 17 yrs to go to a student clinic across town.  I can't see her there because I'm not a student at the college.    What the hell am I supposed to do now? I began seeing her about a year and a half ago when the therapist I was seeing at THAT time at the same clinic left.  CHRIST! How am I ever going to get through shit when I can't seem to get consistency…or is it me? Maybe it's taking me entirely too long to get through all of my issues. ???? It just seems like it's always one thing after another and I can't seem to get a handle on each thing before the next comes along…if that even makes any sense at all. Who knows…shit who cares anymore.  I'm ready to just say piss on the world.  My attitude these days really has been so negative and to be honest that just isn't me.  I've always took pride in the fact that I care about people and their feelings.  Lately it seems like I just don't seem to care about anything.  Not my appearance, my house, my bills, my family, my jobs..NOTHING!  yeah, I'm pissed off at the world right now.  I just wish I knew where to turn.  My therapist has referred my to another one of her colleagues but ya know, I'm tired of telling my damn story.  geez…it'll take 3 freakin' sessions for her to even get a handle on ME, ya know? by then, 15 other "issues" will pop up and I'll be a disaster again..hell I already am, what am I talkin' about. I am truly beginning to hate my life and everything about it.