I stopped taking the Dextroamphetamine to wake me up each morning. It was giving me terrible migraines and dizziness and making me so sick I could not eat. It was so horrible I could not deal with it so I just stopped taking it. Unfortunately now I sleep all the time because my other meds sedate me. I take it at 9pm at night and go to bed and still the next day I can’t function. I sleep ALL day long. Its so bad that at some points I can’t even be woken up. Yesterday I passed out on the couch around noon and at 330pm when it was time to get my kids from school my BF could not wake me up. I slept right through my responsibility thank god he was home from work and could go get them. And today I slept all day again. In fact I just woke up and I’m ready to sleep again. My house is a pigsty the baby needed a diaper changing and fed. The laundry needs doing and soon I have to get the kids from school. All I want is to sleep. I can’t function like this. I can’t live like this. I don’t want to take my medication anymore. I complained about that to my BF and he refuses to let me stop taking them but he doesn’t realise how hard it is for me to get through each day. He doesn’t have to live this way I do, shouldn’t the choice be mine? After all I’m the one that has to deal with the Bipolar, the mood swings and the nasty thoughts. I’m the one that has to suffer the side effects and the ramifications of taking them or not taking them. I’m so sick to death of being a bad mother because I can’t function. I can’t play with my kids I don’t have the energy. I can’t talk with them after school, I’m asleep. I forget to feed them, I’m asleep, they have no clean cloths because I’m asleep, and the meds that were suppose to stop that from happening don’t allow me to function either how can I do anything when I want to ram my head into a concrete wall to stop the pain? It’s too much. It’s all to much. I want it to stop, I just want to be normal like anyone else. Why cant I just be like anyone else?

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