I'm optomisticaly fearful today. I looked at an apartment with my mother, and it was so far so good. I would get my own room and a place to relax and be myself, and I would be able to decorate it and stay in it however long I felt.

I would love that.

But the security deposit is 800 dollars. By tomorrow morning. She agreed readily and said no more about it, but I wasn't sure if she actually had all of that money. I was slightly amazed, slightly confused, and completely worried. If she didn't have the money, we don't get the place. If she does, well, we start moving in ASAP and I will work to have an internet connection set up. I would love to be able to get online and stay there in comfort, especially because it is so close to my work place. 

August would be a good month if she had that place.

If you believe in it, please pray for me. I can only hope if someone does things will go well.

That aside, I talked to my love again today. I felt worried and a bit scared, and he was very reassuring. He has a five hour time difference from me, and god is it a bummer. He normally goes to sleep very late at night to very early in the morning, which translates to the evening to me. Normally when the sun goes down he's long gone. The one thing I hate about working is that I'm often working the times he and I talk most! For my first few weeks of employment I missed him horribly. I don't know if he missed me as much.

Ah well. I satisfy myself with daydreams of a fantastic world where we are together and happy, where I bake bread every Sunday and everything is in pastels.