My journey started when I was about 6 years old, I’m 15 now. My parents got divorced when I was 6 and thats when all my depression started I never got to see my dad anymore yet did i want to, he was cheating on my mom for months then we finally went away on a vaycay without him and when we came back he said he needed to “talk to my mom” about something and we all had no idea what was going on. i had 3 older siblings at the time and he raised them all because their dad walked out on them, i now i have five siblings and 1 more on its way! we moved into a new house when i was about 8 after they got divorced and my mom became an alcoholic and would go to the bar straight from when she would drop me off to pick me up from school n the day came where she picked me up n she was drunk. I watched my own mom get arrested in the eyes of a little girl, i watched her get put in the back of the cop car knowing this was the last of i, i got put under my dads care for 6months until i was allowed to see her again. when i was 11 my sister got diagnosed with Osteosarcoma bone cancer which spread into her lungs n led her with many major sugerys (even hip surgery) she had a 2 year battle. On december21, 2014 she passed away, she was a christmas angel. keep in mind through all of this i was still not seeing my dad a lot. i got into drugs at age of 13 and am still suffering from Addiction, Anorexia Nervosa and Depression. I was hanging out with the wrong friend groups n messed up my life now i feel like i wanna die n i hate myself because i blame myself for everything Please help!

  1. delane1 4 years ago

    kamiholt, ***hugs*** my heart goes out to you. No child should have to see what you’ve seen.
    Do you have anyone in your life that you can actually trust, to talk to? Friends? Siblings? Anyone?
    i’m not going to preach at you or down-play things: what you’re doing is playing with fire, in essence.
    Just one of those things is enough to take a person out, but you’ve got several of them going on….i wish i had the answers for you and could just let you know it was gonna be aight. *sigh Anorexia is hard enough to deal with on it’s own–you probably do need some professional help. The addiction, obviously, you need some help with. Just know that you’re not alone and if/when you need a shoulder, i’ll listen. (i lost my own daughter earlier this year to drugs. It has not been easy, but i can’t close off from it, either.) Please, try and take care of yourself, as best you can. Reach out if/when you need it, too! Don’t try to handle it all alone. ***hugs***

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  2. keylee20029 4 years ago

    I know everyone has their own battles and they face it differently, I have no idea what its like to be in your situation but I understand it hurts. Im 15 years old, a female and this past summer, I wanted to commit suicide. I was alone and I still feel disconnected from my family. My dad walked out on my mom when I was born so I always had that weighing me down. I suffer from anxiety and depression and still have scars lying my arms that I regret. I just want to tell you that despite everything you went through, you will find your way back. I know for me, having a friend to talk to ALWAYS seemed to help me. I can barely discuss everything from my life but it helps knowing someone is there to support you. You may need to talk to a professional even if it is hard and a large step. Think positive. I had to learn that no matter what happened, there is always someone else on the other side of the world, wishing they were in your situation. You may have it bad, but it isnt the worst. I really hope you find your way and I wish nothing but the best for you. Keep on smiling and know that people are here to support you. <3 <3

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  3. delane1 4 years ago

    keylee20029 is absolutely right! Just know that if/when you need shoulders, they are available.

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