i just cannot take the stress. i am 12 why do i have to worry about this stuuf always having to make everyone proud of me by going to school. its wayyy to hard for a person lik me with severe anxiety disorder mixed with stress to do this i need help i have a sychiyatrist (its probally spelt wronge) and a sychologist and medication (a very big dose too) and i still cant do it. i have emetophobia (phhobia of vomiting) and that is what my anxiety uses to get me anxious. im always nauseaus and feeling sick which makes me panic and have panic attacks cause of my emetophobia. my mom says she understands what im going through but her anxiety is just regular non severe stressed cause anxiety its my dad and grandma who gave me anxiety in the first place so i wish my mom would stop saying that \"\". i am absent for another day of school and it makes me mad because i went through this last year but i got through it then this year life was good again up untillll about 3 weeks ago. anxiety was back! it pissed me off. i just wanna kill myself im so sick of this life. but no i cant kill myself cause that would be a selfish move. i just want it all gone! i hate my life cause i cant just have a wonderful life like most of my freinds who can go to the mall and not be anxious the whole time and have nooo stress or depression at all. i always ask god why why why the hell would you curse me with this WHY!?!?! i cant eat anything without asking "wwill this make me sick?????" i just wanna live my teenage life normally im tired of this.

5 Comments
  1. rebecca_12 12 years ago

    thankyou guys it does help. its just soo hard for me and everyone else who suffers. i dont understand how we get so worked up and panicy about the smallest things i hate it.

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  2. crystalclear 12 years ago

    Don\'t give up on it, also i think that the whole wonderful teenage life thing is kind of exaggerated, so don\'t be fooled.

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  3. gphonse357 12 years ago

    I agree with BlueSkies101, you are young and have a lot of time to come to grips with yourself. Never give up please….I don\'t know what you believe in but…suicide i the worst sin you can commit and I come from a Christian background, but I even fell away from it at some point. I still stand on that belief though. Also…not only will it be selfish but…your family loves you more than you realize and you you\'ll hurt them. They\'ll be grieving over you for years to come, and I don\'t think you want that. As far as your friends who can do things like go to the mall with ease; go with them, you might learn a thing or two from them. Try to focus more on enjoying yourself and every moment. To have life is a gift, so don\'t waste it (read my quote on my page for a little inspiration)….Who knows, you may find out something about yourself that you never knew before or realized, something positive.

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  4. Katymyster24 12 years ago

    First off, I just want to say that it takes a lot of guts to spill your emotions on here. I am proud that you did even though it\'s hard. I have dealt with anxiety all my life, and I am 26 now. When I was your age, I hid my anxiety because a lot of my friends didn\'t understand what I was going through. Well, I still hide it from time to time from others who don\'t understand, and sometimes it bugs me because I wish people would not look at me as some freak. I know I am not crazy, but sometimes I wish my anxiety would end. I get sick and tired of living the way I do. It\'s like a dark cloud over my head everyday. Sometimes, it\'s hard to get out of bed.

    But, you just have to keep moving on. Life is so beautiful. Even when we have panic and anxiety. I just want to let you know that I am very much here for you whenever you need to talk. You are a very strong young woman. I ask God all the time, \”Why am I dealt with this?\” And he never answers. Maybe it\'s a test to make us stronger. Hopefully one of these days, we can live \”normal\” lives.

    I had a phobia where I was scared to eat, afraid that I was going to choke. For a long time when I was 13 till 18, I was afraid to swallow my own spit wrong. It was horrible. I never told anyone at that time, because I knew people wouldn\'t understand. I told my mom one time, and she just said, \”oh Katy, it\'s all in your head.\” Well, that comment always pissed me off. I can\'t stand people saying that. Sometimes it makes me mad when people try to comfort. One day though, I just yelled at the top of my lungs, \”Stop it!!\” and it stopped. I am able to eat and swallow perfectly fine. I am not sure why I had that for those years.. but I am thankful that I was able to stop that on my own.

    Usually what I do, is keep journals by my bed and write down everything that I feel that day, no matter if it\'s good or bad. That helps me.

    One thing for sure, is you\'re not alone. And I hope this gives you some comfort that you have a lot of supportive people here.

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  5. rebecca_12 12 years ago

    thankyou guys it really does help to get all this nice comments. and i will take your guys advice! or at least try.

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