im new here…im just sooo sad right now. i have no one to talk with. seriously…im sad and angry at the same time!! 🙁 i have a good family, but right now theyr the reason why i feel horrible.

my mom has obviously been favoring my sister over me lately. its so frikin obvious. when she calls me names n talks bad towards me,,,its all okay with my mom. but when i get fed up once in a while n get mad at my ssiter, my mom explodes with anger!! n theres ths performing arts school that weve been attending for a few months now, n its pretty hard to get in…i happnd that my sister got in a month before did, n my mom always rubs it in my face that i only got in bcos she forced them 2 accept me! and wenever thers a performance day 2 prepare for n i get invited 2 perform with the othr ppl there, i my mom tells me to include my sister. i do that, im happy to perform with her…but a few days later wen my mom decides to get mad at me again, she goes like "im not allowing u to perform anymore! dont forget that u got in cos of me! and ur sister can perform with those ppl without u! etc etc"

sometimes wen my sibling n me disagree a bir during pratice at home, my mom goes like, u know what jamie, cancel this performance, just perform separately frm ur sister nxt time. u know what, originally it was supposed 2 be only ur sister n this othr person in this song number, i just told them dat u n ur sister should perform together, etc etc etc

my mother would often bring up how much i owe her n make me feel worthless lyk i wouldnt make it anywhere if it werent for her. i know i owe her so much cos shes my mohter, but it just hurts so bad wen she gets this angry with me. she may not know it but she likes shoving it in my face dat my sister is better, more talented, and more likeable than me. she likes making me feel horrible about myslef. sumtyms i just want to change my part in a song or dance cos i feel more comftable with another part, n shed just explode again n tell me to jst sing another time. she makes me feel like an excess wheel. like im unnecessary. she didnt used to be this way n i feel like running away n just pursue my dreams n stuff on my own, but its hard. she also tells me how i cant do anything on my own. i feel so sad, i have no one to confide in, but God. i feel so stupid posting this right now, but yeah i needed to vent sumwer.