I haven't slept hardly at all in the last 3 days now & when I finally do fall asleep it feels like I wake up every other minute . I am already a mess with sleep but without it the effect is 10× worse for me!!! My mood is listless nothing can make me excited anymore even when really bad things happen it is like it doesn't even register in my brain it just washes over me & then goes out of my memory forever. I am so shut down it is starting to scare me I have Never felt this disconnected before or for such a long period of time I am guessing it is my bodies way of dealing with everything but I don't like it at all! I want to be able to feel some kind of emotion again!!! It is very very unlike me not to care about people like this. Why must it always be an extreme with me it is either over caring or not caring at all? I don't know what is happening to me…it is like I am losing myself piece by piece! I just want to have some feeling of normal in my life again this stupid anxiety has taken control of me long enough it is time for it to stop!!! I have lost pretty much all my friends to this disease as well as my family the last few who have hung in there are now also leaving me when I need them most. I now have no one & that is not me being overly dramatic I seriously have no one who cares enough to stick by me & care about whether I am here or not! The biggest problem is I can't end it all because of my religion so I am stuck in limbo here Forever it feels like. I have no choice but to suffer through until I can't take it anymore & even then I must continue to deal with it indefinitely!!!!!!!! Their is no end for me in sight. I am 23 the chances of me dying of natural causes aren't very great! I am sick & tired of being tortured!!!!!!!!!!!