I just got done talking to my mom on the phone about going to California for spreading my grandma's ashes. I now remember why I can't stand her. We were planning out where I was going to arrive and when I was going to go and how long I was going to stay. But I forgot to ask my boyfriend's dad when he can drop me off at the airport since it's all the way in New York and his dad is the only one in the house that knows how to get to the airport without getting lost. So I have to talk to him tomorrow because he works at 3am and my mom just told me that the ceremony is on the 23rd and I need to get there on the 22nd in the morning. The 22nd is on a Friday, so I'd have to leave on Thursday in order to get there on Friday, but my boyfriend's dad works on Friday at 3am and he gets off of work at around 2pm and if extremely exhausted. So I'll probably have to leave the weekend before.

Also, my mom told me that she'll just drive me back to the airport on Sunday. I was planning on staying a few extra days so that I could visit my friends. I told my mom that and she got offended by  it. I told her that since she has to work on Monday and Tuesday that I'd just spend the day with friends and then spend the afternoons with her and the family on those two days; after spending an entire weekend with them. It just kind of irritated me that she started to nag me about wanting to see my friends. I realize that my grandma just died, but it's going to be a month from now when I get there and my grandma specificaly said not to mourn her death and traditionally my family doesn't mourn death, we celebrate it. My mom has always been the mourner.

I understand that it's her mother and that they were very close but my grandma wouldn't want us crying over her death (she even said so multiple times before her death), she'd want us to move on with our lives, my mom has always preached that to us since our first family member died that we knew. I know that my mom is going through a tough time and that she's mourning but why start nagging and yelling at me? My mom is pretty much doing what she always does. She talks about how much she wants us to be together and close and be able to talk about anything and everything and then the next day she's yelling and telling me to stop acting how I am and (like when I was 18) get out of her home.

I was really looking forward to the trip, but now I'm not anymore. My mom has a way of doing that kind of stuff to me. I don't know why but she still gets under my skin.

Work was nice. I enjoyed it. I got moved to a new room at work, I'm working in what I call the sowing room. Everyone is really nice and the work is even easier. I think that I got moved because people probably found out about me and my boyfriend. It's funny because he was bragging about how at work since  I wasn't there he was getting more attention and flrited and crap…literally all of the women we work with are either older (his mom's age to past retirement age), have kids or both. So I really could care less, even if he worked with super models I really wouldn't care.

That's one thing that I find a bit funny. Lately I've just stopped caring about what he says when he goes on his little 'ego rants' as I like to call them. He starts talking about how girls check him out and how attractive they find him and crap but I really don't care because (I know that this is bad, but…) I've basically enabled him. I cook 99% of his food, I'm the only one that cleans, and I'm the only one that does his laundry, not to mention some how always know where his lost items are (wallet, keys, underwear, shirts…etc.). So the way I see it, go ahead and let whatever girls he thinks are flirting flirt with him.


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