Well, I talk big that I am going to take my life back but then some days, the balloon gets popped. It's worse when it is your therapist that pops it. Got the lecture again today about taking medication and left feeling like I won't be able to do this without drugs. ( Have to…breastfeeding). I don't know how much clearer I can say to everyone in my life that I don't want to take the medication right now. I will later but not now…and yes I know its going to be harder but I will make that sacrifice for my daughter. Went home and shared my session with my husband who started saying i do need the drugs and he was previously the only one who supported me in this. Then later told him that I just have to dig deep and remember that I am capable of this hard work without drugs and he popped the second balloon when he said I don't think you can do it without drugs. Come on!!! Have some faith in me…please. Think of some time in my life where I was amazing and did things that were very hard and scary and survived. I m weak in many ways now but I have been strong.
I am trying many very little things and I am already so much better in so many ways than I was 6 months ago when I couldn't go downwind of a school or a mall or any other gathering place that might carry the swine flu. WHen i heard every cough in restaurant and prayed that it wasn't my waitress or it wasn't someone that my waitress was serving. Probably only hear five percent of the coughing that i used to.
Okay self pep talk over….anyone else need a smack in the right direction..I'm on a roll.