Well, I talk big that I am going to take my life back but then some days, the balloon gets popped. It's worse when it is your therapist that pops it. Got the lecture again today about taking medication and left feeling like I won't be able to do this without drugs. ( Have to…breastfeeding). I don't know how much clearer I can say to everyone in my life that I don't want to take the medication right now. I will later but not now…and yes I know its going to be harder but I will make that sacrifice for my daughter. Went home and shared my session with my husband who started saying i do need the drugs and he was previously the only one who supported me in this. Then later told him that I just have to dig deep and remember that I am capable of this hard work without drugs and he popped the second balloon when he said I don't think you can do it without drugs. Come on!!! Have some faith in me…please. Think of some time in my life where I was amazing and did things that were very hard and scary and survived. I m weak in many ways now but I have been strong.

I am trying many very little things and I am already so much better in so many ways than I was 6 months ago when I couldn't go downwind of a school or a mall or any other gathering place that might carry the swine flu.  WHen i heard every cough in restaurant and prayed that it wasn't my waitress or it wasn't someone that my waitress was serving. Probably only hear five percent of the coughing that i used to.  

Okay self pep talk over….anyone else need a smack in the right direction..I'm on a roll.


  1. Andie372 13 years ago

    I'm not sure I understand; you're not taking meds because you're breastfeeding your baby?  If so, then I understand your not wanting to take meds.  But to be the best Mom you can be, you have to take care of yourself first.  The people closest to you, they know you best.  Still, I would hate to have a lecture from my therapist, it would feel like betrayal.  

    I hope everything works out well for you and I wish you the best. 

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  2. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    Good for you!\"\"  I don't understand the resistance to medication. \"\" I know people go off medication when they are pregnant.  Are you pregnant?\"\"

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  3. Snug9 13 years ago

    Hey if you can get control with out meds while you are nursing your daughter great… I jsut gave in to meds recently… I hope they work for me and that i can still try to get some control so that I don't need them forever… we will see… be strong.. follow your heart.. but also listen to those close to you that know you and love you … your husband knows and loves you… right?   maybe he sees something you can't.  you have to believe and trust you support network… good luck …

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  4. Tee 13 years ago

    Just to be clear as I obviously wasn't before. I have NO objections to the medication. I would take it in a heartbeat and would urge others to do so. I just have an objection to taking them while breastfeeding. My OCD surrounds protecting my daughter and the last thing I want is to expose her to SSRI's because of my stupid head.  Spawn…I would take the drugs if I were you especially since therapy is so expensive. I can't afford it either but just going in the hole to get better. Heck there are some days i just want some stiff drinks to take the edge of for awhile. I have been told that the drugs can significantly reduce your symptoms. Yes my husband knows and loves me but he says it because he is fed up. I'm fed up too and I want to do this, just want to do it without drugs. I just need lots of encouragment and lots of pats on the back. You are right washergirl, I need to prove them all wrong, hope i can.

    Thanks everyone. I hear everything you are saying to me.

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