Yeah so I guess I haven't been on here a while and i'm sorry to those who posted on my guestbook because I haven't replied, I guess I've just been busy with exams and stuff… So much has gone on recently that I feel so angry about. I could rant on for ever. The soldier who was killed. So sad, RIP:( But people seem to forget people die in events like these… and they forget that 'christians' have in the past killed muslims and many other races but how is this not racism?! Yes, violence is not the answer to anything. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but people also forget civilians get killed every single day and in the past in wars because of us! That is why they are angry. The government hides so much from us as well, all of us are ignorant and powerless. It scares me. Our whole society and life is a lie. Something needs to be done! People need to listen and also TALK rather than be so aggressive. I have no idea what to do to help but i so badly want to. We need to stop EVERYONE getting treated badly. No more suppression, judgements or discrimination but I know that is impossible. It's not even equality that we need… but JUSTICE. It makes it so much harder for me to find the will to live. Why would I when everything around me is evil, unequal and a lie? I could go on for so much longer, and I know I have little knowledge on the subject but what i do know, scares and angers me. Anyways, aside from all that I seem to be dipping back into depression. A quote from my favourite film 'Perks of being a wallflower' pretty much sums up how i feel. Any quote from their i could relate to, but right now this feels the most appropiate: I just wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know that's wrong because it's my responsibility, and I know that things get worse before they get better because that's what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big.p.139I can't help but cry whenever i read that. So much just screams at me 'this is you' its crazy how much i relate to that film. I literally cried all the way through watching it. I am yet to read the book but I will when I am over with exams. It just feels what i'm feeling is how everyone should see it… I don't understand how they don't … thoughts go round 'is it me that has something wrong or them?' it feels to be happy is a lie. All you are doing is avoiding the truth.

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