So after being severly depress for the past week and feeling so alone and isolated I pulled out of it myself. Instead of crying because I have no friends I called up my best friend from high school Jake and even though he lives an hour away he came to spend my day off with me and it was amazing. Im glad I caught him on spring break. Then I cleaned up my act, believe it or not cleaning helps with depression when you can actually control something and feel a sence of accomplishment. I also got our front yard of the new house cleaned up and set up  a bond fire on a whim the other night. Hung out with some friends and family which was great until my allergies kicked in the next morning and it felt like someone was litterally holding a cement block to my face. I couldn't stand or walk and I just looked at my husband and started bawling. I kept saying I didn't know what to do so I hopped myself up on allergy meds untill I dryed myself out to the point where I had a sore throat because of it. His eyes were so pittiful when he saw me in such pain. I feel so bad because I'm helpless at those points and so is he. I wish I had healtth insureance to find out what I'm allergic to that makes it so I can't move or breathe in the morning. But back to the pulling myself out of the depression slip I got to see one of my oldest friends again last night, we stayed up all night played games and I helped mediate a plan for her and her house mates to help get on track and not kill each other. I'm ok now emotional wise I geuss. My allergies are bothering me and I can't breathe.  I can feel hunger creeping up on me but I don't want to eat, it's making me ill. I suppose I'll just smoke and suffer through until it's time to make dinner for the hubby and get him up for work.


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