It's 10p and quiet here. I'm not sleepy, despite my evening meds.
What do I have to show for today? I watched church TV and got a boost. I love this pastor and the worship. When he made the altar call, I cried. I felt better.
Felt alone today. I was alone. I would like to be respected. I would like 1) love 2) more love 3) trust 4) more love. Like SARK says: "hug yourself. kiss your shoulders and tell yourself how much in love you are with yourself. Roll around in bed with yourself for 10 minutes at first, then 20." I like hugging myself but feel silly.
I wrote in my journal. Not much to write about. Made a To Do List I probably won't do.
Talked to Aunt jean for an hour. My uncle is dying. He's been on the verge two years.
Paid my rent. The apartment manager was rude. Worried about his terse disposition all day.
Had PC problems. Called Tech Support. Was on phone 3 1/2 hours trouble shooting Internet Explorer.
Ate too many carbs and blood sugar spiked. now it's too low. Got dizzy and fell getting out of my chair.
Got invited to a party Wednesday night to watch the debates.
Now I'm on the Net.
I've been isolated in my apt for a while. I remember in AA not to get too tired, too hungry, too angry or too lonely. Words to live by.
I have a fantasy that I'm married to a Prince from Monaco and we live on a horse farm in upstate New York. He plays polo. We live like Gatsby and Daisy. Today we're sailing from St. Tropez to Greece and I'm looking good in a bikini.
I'm being bullied by the mailman who is a woman and a 400 pound resident. I briefly wonder if anyone likes me? When I feel lonely I get religious. All I need is God. Doesn't matter what others say; I can't control gossip. This too shall pass. The Prince and I are having dinner with Nacho Figueras who adores me.
Eli threw a touch down pass. He's not my type; I know Eli from when he was 5. How do some people's lives turn out so well and others get garbage poured on them?
Been sitting in this chair too long. What's in store for tomorrow? Breakfast, lunch and dinner. TV for sure.
The prince and I say good night all> Wanda