:wacko: i had went to the doc a few week back (head doc), she had given me some new meds for alot of the symptoms i was having. she played it all down about the meds like it was no biggie well really its not but she gave me meds for schizophrenia. SCHIZOPHRENIA!!!??? thats like a taboo word. like only freaking crazy people have that. boy did i have that wrong. it seems that prolonged pot smoking will give it too you,. or should i say make the chances of it coming our better. so i have read everything i can find out about it. EVERYTHING!! ( i do that) read everything i can about something. which i guess is a good thing. thats all i can do is read shit. cant do anything else. too duhh for that. and the duhh is part ot the illness also. like i was saying. after i read this stuff i was like oh my
God i am skitzo. wow i really am. i almost sort of feel better knowing that my whole life there was a reaon for me to be so weiord and strange and not liked and duhh. i have a brain desease. its a very real desiease (sp) so what now?? the meds are making me feel so much better is unreal. like i finally had the fog takin off of me. i can think straight. i can get my work done. i get up and do things and not feel like i weight a ton and have this zingy lite headed feeling all the time. i read it can run in a 5 year cycle thing and i think so. i had my manic freakout for 5 years. the damn thing started out of the blue. thats what scares me. the suddeness of it. & it says that not knowing your ill or something is wrong is from the desease, the part of the brain that tells you that, thats part is damaged. so now what. i still want to quit the pot. i am messed up with this also. when i have plenty of it. i am almost sick of it and wanting to stop but when i get real low then i freak out sort of. i think its just the security of knowing i have it?? shot i dont know. i just really wanted to write about my head problems. i of course am not telling anyone other then hubby so i sort of want to get it off my chest. i will continue to say i am bi-polar. people will really think i am crazy then. haha. well i am out of here. i have things to do and the energy and the wanting to do them. i never have felt like doing things and now i do so i guess the meds are working. peace to all purple:yinyang: